Mississippi Sticks It To The Man, Passes Anti-Bloomberg Bill

Obligatory Photo Of Below-The-Neck Larger People/Click To Embiggen

Mississippi is a state commonly known for voting for candidates like recently departed governor Haley Barbour, also known as That Politician Guy From O Brother Where Art Thou, No Not The One With The Dwarf, The Other One Who Likes To Sing Old Timey Songs About Sunshine, so it’s not really known as the home of anarchists everywhere.

That being said, they just saw the rich man with that New York sense of humor (wink, nudge, Jew) going around wanting be all healthy and such, and dang nabbit there’s no way they’re gonna let some guy in New York who has zero jurisdiction in Mississippi tell people in Mississippi what to do! So they’re passing a law known as the “Anti-Bloomberg Bill” prohibiting people from gently encouraging other people not to be fat.

It would ban communities from requiring restaurants to post calorie counts on menus or limit portion sizes, as Mayor Bloomberg tried to do with his proposed ban on large sodas.  Also forbidden: any local rule banning toys from being distributed with kids’ meals.

The governor is expected to sign it.

In what must be a totally unrelated story, Mississippi is officially the most obese state in the nation.

 

Read more at the NY Daily News.

Photo credit: Flickr user Fhardseen

Somali Terrorists: Sorry about that one guy who won’t shut up, we know he’s annoying

ABC News

 

Everyone’s got that one friend, who when you introduce them to new people, you almost instantly start apologizing, and feel shame (if you don’t know what we’re talking about, you’re that friend).  It turns out Somali terrorists are Just Like Us, in that they’ve got that one guy from Alabama, too.

 

A self-identified spokesperson for al-Shabaab, a Somalia-based terror group, released a statement via Twitter Monday that is relentlessly critical of Alabama-born rapping jihadi Omar Hammami, also known as Abu Mansur al-Amriki, and assures everyone he holds no position of power in their anti-Western ranks.

“For months the Mujahideen [holy warriors] have been offering advice to Abu Mansur in private, without publicly rebuking him, employing every possible avenue to veil his faults, overlook his shortcomings and conceal the egregious errors he’d committed from the eyes of the Muslim Ummah[leadership]… It is regrettable, however, that all such efforts have been fruitless despite numerous attempts,” the statement says.

He probably keeps going on and on about how Leslie Neilsen was underrated (yeah, we get it) and then making inappropriate comments to women.   He sounds awful.

 

This could be the greatest CIA terrorist plant since Carrot Top.

 

Read more at ABC News.