Everyone’s got that one friend, who when you introduce them to new people, you almost instantly start apologizing, and feel shame (if you don’t know what we’re talking about, you’re that friend). It turns out Somali terrorists are Just Like Us, in that they’ve got that one guy from Alabama, too.
A self-identified spokesperson for al-Shabaab, a Somalia-based terror group, released a statement via Twitter Monday that is relentlessly critical of Alabama-born rapping jihadi Omar Hammami, also known as Abu Mansur al-Amriki, and assures everyone he holds no position of power in their anti-Western ranks.
“For months the Mujahideen [holy warriors] have been offering advice to Abu Mansur in private, without publicly rebuking him, employing every possible avenue to veil his faults, overlook his shortcomings and conceal the egregious errors he’d committed from the eyes of the Muslim Ummah[leadership]… It is regrettable, however, that all such efforts have been fruitless despite numerous attempts,” the statement says.
He probably keeps going on and on about how Leslie Neilsen was underrated (yeah, we get it) and then making inappropriate comments to women. He sounds awful.
This could be the greatest CIA terrorist plant since Carrot Top.