Men in the Middle East are just so, so desperate for that perfect ‘stache. One to stroke, one to pet, one to catch soup. In the perfect quest to resemble the perfect Man, men in that part of the world (excluding Israel, I’m gonna go ahead and just guess that) are increasingly turning to mustache transplants. As one Turkish doctor says about his clients:
“My impression is more and more they want to establish their male aspect,” he said. “They want a strong mustache.”
Yes, a Strong Mustache for a Strong Man. Apparently, the soup-catcher is so important in the Middle East that it has even invaded the most highly revered aspect of Middle Eastern StrongMen (strong man, Strong Man, get it, zing?):
In 2008, militants in Gaza abducted a Fatah opponentand shaved off his mustache to dishonor him, while in 2003, in the lead up to the Second Gulf War, Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri — a senior aide to Hussein and, like the rest of the former Iraqi leader’s inner circle, himself mustachioed — created headlines when he yelled “Curse be upon your mustache!” at a Kuwaiti counterpart at an emergency summit of Islamic states.
I’m surprised this hasn’t caught on in Williamsburg.