Rick Ross’s Black Bar Mitzvah

Florida State Correctional Officer William Leonard Roberts II, aka rapper Rick Ross (or Rick Ro$$ as he often styles himself) has decided that it is his time to become a man.  Ross’s new mixtape, the 18-track “Black Bar Mitzvah,” was released last night to no, some, or a lot of fanfare.  I’m not really sure.  Featuring Drake, who is Jewish, and Pharrell, who I don’t think is Jewish, the mixtape certainly is not Setting Us Back:

“Black bar mitzvah. Black Hebrews. All my Jewish partners. All my business endeavors. Open your minds!” he chants, nonsensically, over the album’s intro track. “We get more money. We owners now.”

Ross boasts that he’s in the fiscal company of Vegas magnates Steven Wynn (whose first name he gets wrong) and the Maloof family.

“My boat was twelve million,” he says.

Depending on how you look at it, he also gets Steve Wynn’s last name wrong, as he was born Stephen Weinberg.  It also features Hot 97 DJ  Peter Rosenberg, playing a rabbi, which is also Certainly Not Offensive In Any Way:

“What a beautiful day it’s been at Beth Sholom Miami… Oh, I’ve never seen a service so lavish,” Rosenberg intones. “I’ve never seen such a spread… Never have I seen such beautiful [breasts] hanging out at a bar mitzvah service before, but today it’s appropriate, because today, Ricky, you are a man.”

Rick Ross is 36.

Read more at The Jewish Daily Forward

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About Michael Ballaban

Editor, The Ball-Aban News

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